Long term PTSD
I have struggled with complex PTSD for over 15 years. Part of the reason I have struggled so long was because I trusted NO ONE to give me therapy. I had been successfully healing myself through the trauma but had reached an impasse. I just hit a numb, unmotivated plain and I couldn’t rouse any wish to heal. I was compulsive eating and on self destruct. The thought of sitting through a therapy and talking, again, about what gave me PTSD was choking me. I had no desire to keep digging up all the emotions and fear. I just couldn’t hear the story that was leaking my life away, again.
I needed a therapy that didn’t involve me investing a load of trust into someone. Where I would have to go through the process of feeling like I was being understood. John’s therapy did not need me to cough up all my trauma and this appealed to me. I felt like I had nothing to lose but try it. I have to add I was sceptical he could help me. My trauma was many layered and was especially raw in the core of my being. I hadn’t found anyone who could reach me and help me so why should John be any different?
The technique worked. It took me a while to accept that it had worked because it was so effective. I chose to release fear and anxiety which I have been plagued by everyday of those 15 years. After one session I found I couldn’t even recall these core feelings. It was an interesting experience to be crying at the start of the therapy and completely unable to recall the feeling that had been torturing me moment by moment in my everyday life.
We also tackled what I call ‘overwhelm’. I would find that if there was too much noise/questions/stress/pressure I would freak out and become shouty. I didn’t want to be like that anymore. It was the one thing that stopped the people around me having compassion for my daily experience of PTSD. I still have a limit with this but after the therapy I found that my tolerance was vastly increased.
I am still amazed today because PTSD was the emotional backdrop to my life and now I just can’t bring the fear that haunted me to mind.
I really do recommend this treatment. I found John to be a person I felt safe with and the treatment did not involve dragging up the trauma or talking through it all again.
I went from haunted to unhaunted. I can never thank John enough.